IN THE BEGINNING
In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and
spinach, combined with an abundance of green, yellow and red vegetables.
He did this so that Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then, using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Whip and Sara Lee
Ice Cream. And Satan said, You want hot fudge with that? And Man
said, Yes! and Woman said, I'll have one too ... with sprinkles. And lo
and behold they gained 20 kgs.
And so God created the healthful yoghurt that Woman might keep the
figure that Man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the
cane, and combined them, and Woman went from size 10 to size 16.
So God said, Try my fresh green garden salad.
And Satan presented crumbled Blue Cheese dressing and garlic toast on
the side and Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in
which to cook them.
And Satan brought forth deep-fried squid rings, butter dipped lobster
chunks, and fried chicken so big it needed its own platter. And Man's
cholesterol went through the roof.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming
with potassium and good nutrition.
Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin, sliced the starchy centre into
chips and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of
salt. And Man packed on more kilos.
God then brought forth running shoes so that his children might lose
those extra kilos.
Satan introduced cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to
toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before
the flickering light, and started wearing stretchy lycra jogging suits.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and
still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald's and the double cheeseburger. Then Satan
said, You want fries with that? And Man replies, Yes, and super size
them! And Satan said, It is good. And Man and Woman went into cardiac
God sighed .... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.
Satan chuckled and created: The New South Wales Public Health System.
Now this is a typical example of a "converted American" joke - the words have been changed (the original punch-line included the term "HMO's" which is unfamiliar to most Australians - thank goodness). And as is usually the case, the conversion is clumsy and incomplete and the cultural origins stick out like crazy. The original joke had deep-fried coconut shrimp instead of the squid rings and chicken-fried steak instead of fried chicken. Both of which make more sense, really.
But isn't it something that a joke like that works in so many countries?. Just change the label on the bottle.
I found out a workmate, who is also a Pros fan, is going to England in 3 weeks time. "Well," sez I, "you might be interested in this play...". But then I wondered if there were still tickets available (to AMFAS). Does anyone know?