"I am not your back-up prayer group". Oh, I'm liking this nun more and more. Wrong-sided of course, but her snark is delicious.
"I'm sure you remember the drill". Heh. At a pinch I reckon I could pass as Catholic. My favourite bf from varsity days was RC; I used to go to mass with him and visit his aunt at the convent where she was a nun.
"I don't do fire and brimstone". No comment - but would you mind helping me get up off the floor in time for the swimming pool scene?
And just because I've found out how to embed stuff, one of my favourite Christmassy songs from way back when (OK, it's Chris de Burgh so you've been warned):