(no subject)

Gah, life is a bit shitty at the moment :( Mum went into care in June, I spent a week with my sister in July, cleaning house, preparing for selling. Mum has a recurrent chest condition with bronchiectasis, probably the result of a silent TB infection when she was a graduate teacher in the 40's in Northland. My sister contacted us yesterday as Mum now has another respiratory infection that she is probably not going to get over. The antibiotics aren't working, and they are taking palliative measures to ease her coughing. Mum has recently been talking about her own deterioration, physical and mental, and we are united in only doing as much as she would want. Of course she could still turn the corner, but it feels like time is running out.

If she passes we have a family agreement that my sister will arrange things, and we'll have a memorial get together when we can all attend.

I'm still going to Canberra for friends meetage on Monday, just not sure which car I'll be using - B came back from school today with a stone damaged windshield that cracked more in the heat - that's my car he's been driving, so I will be ringing places tomorrow!

Also, friends up north in Queensland are having a hard time - can't talk too much about it, but there is a meeting on Saturday that will be make or break - I wish them well.

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Fire in the Hole

PSA - friends and friending on lj

Part of the problem seems to be that some people didn't read the memo - or at least, didn't read the discussions back in the day when lj was more of a community, about why the idea of "friends" and "friending" was potentially problematic, because it suggested people were closer than they perhaps really were. So here is the primer.

Sometimes to "friend" someone means to follow their lj because you like what they post, on their lj or in communities, sometimes it includes mutual interest (mutual "friending") without personal attachment, sometimes actual friendship is there to begin with or may grow, to hopefully a similar level of comfort for both parties. Mutuality is delightful when it happens, but should never be expected.

"Friending" someone back usually means you allow them to see some or all of your locked posts (unless you employ filters), but it is NOT essential.#

It's highly unusual to send messages to ask someone to defriend you. When it happens the person asked is likely to feel upset and wonder what they have done to get such a direct approach, because essentially what you have done is yell "stop following me!" at them. Asking someone to defriend purely because they haven't commented in a little while, or commented somewhere else instead of on your post is rather rude, actually.

There are less personalised ways to tailor your reading list (your friends list, of people whose journals YOU want to read). If you have mutually friended people who friend you, and you don't want to see them on your friends list any more, then you can filter your reading list. Alternatively, once in a while it is fine to post and say you are culling your flist to those you interact with regularly. This has no effect on folks who simply like to see your unlocked posts, although they may decide to remove you from their friendslist too. That's up to them.

# I am not going too far down the rabbit hole of locked posts and filtering, because I'm old school enough to mostly post unlocked. If people see something to comment on they generally will. If they can't think of something to say they won't and that's fine too.
Fire in the Hole

I will be back...

I meant to start off the New Year before now with some journal posting. Things kinda got in the way, which FB friends and reeenactor friends mostly know about. Things like a trip to Melbourne to chair a get-together of reenactors about some proposed new regs which will really stuff things up unless they alter the proposal, and getting ready for our AGM in 2 weeks. And some other bits and pieces, but of the kind that doesn't get mentioned here. Apart from the eye-rolling *g*.

So yeah, I'm here and will be back in a while. Maybe random commenting, but I'm missing more than I get to, I can promise you.

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(no subject)

I have just seen a notice about the 10th Knitting History Forum, at the London College of Fashion next Saturday, and am posting it in case any fibre-entranced friends are interested:

Program includes:
-Maj Ringgaard on The development of stockings 1600-1800: evidence from the Copenhagen excavations
-Helena Lundin on Shipwrecked knitting: Fragments from the Swedish Seventeenth Century Flagship Kronan
-Lesley O-Connell Edwards on Of stockings and sleeves: insights from some 16th century knitted items in the Museum of London
-Matteo Molinari on Crocheting Cultures: traditional Italian crochet practice in private and public spaces in Veneto
-Barbara Smith on “Wools for the World” – Wakefield Greenwood of Huddersfield and
-Ruth Gilbert on A complex knitting technique from Egypt: the evidence and some ideas
-There will also be a display of British Wools by Zoe Fletcher

Possibly too specialised for most, so I won't frown if you don't go.

ETA: I can't remember who I mentioned it to, but there's a nice note about Richard Rutt here:

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Totally failing to fill in the gaps...

Have been looking at The Plan since I got up ridiculously late this morning. Since I have been waking with the birds the rest of the time I've been in the UK I can only conclude that London has its own time zone (that I have crossed into).

Right, given the day is half over, I need to get moving. As I'm actually in Battersea I think I'll make the Power Station development and Park my port of call for now. It's a bit late for the V&A, and the IWM has an art exhibition (on 9/11) that doesn't start until tomorrow, so putting that off as well. I'm looking at the Krays East End tour too, for Friday or Saturday. Sunday is a trip to Dover, Monday to Milton Keynes, Tuesday travelling north again...

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UK Travel Day 6

Why do I keep waking at 4 am? At least I got several hours sleep last night - the night firing (artillery and automatic weapons) at Lulworth Range was strangely soothing.
Anyway, after the weather stuffed yesterday afternoon's plans, I'm hoping to pack more in today - have car, can go anywhere. Less than 20% chance of rain,what can go wrong?
1. This morning: Lulworth Cove and Durdle Door, if I can (I stayed in the Durdle Room at the YHA last night, so it must be a sign).
2. Corfe Castle
3. New Forest. Maybe one animal place, I'm leaning towards the heavy horses, which is on the way. Rufus Stone and just touring around and my hotel is in Buckler's Hard.

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(no subject)

The briefest of posts, because I will be travelling again tomorrow.

Item One: St Ives Medieval Faire went off pretty well despite un-springlike heat.

Two: ten days around the South Island was busy but fun (Mt Cook was grand, but Oamaru was delightful, even without the penguins).

Three: Apparently Christchurch is now the only place in the world where this game is played... at least until B gets something going in Sydney (maybe).

Four: unbeknownst to me until recently, Mum (93) had developed cataracts that were causing her vision to deteriorate quite quickly. My sister said she was likely to be listed for an operation in November, which meant we would have to juggle dates between us to care for her post-op. However the procedure was brought forward into October, and while I was in Invercargill I went with her and Fiona to the anaesthetist assessment. I was quite happy - the anaesthetist seemed both competent and caring (he told us he'd been a nurse before becoming a doctor). Since her health meant she had to have a GA, there were a few issues that had to be discussed and agreed - on Mum's terms - at the appointment, and he handled these with sensitivity and respect. Also, the op was yesterday and Fi emailed to say all was well afterwards.

Five: I went to get__together last weekend. Roomed with [personal profile] mab_browne, [personal profile] born2slash, and [personal profile] dewey. Again, arysteia and the local crowd created a fun weekend for all. I did a mini-pimp for Dark Matter, a show I've been watching recently (unfortunately just cancelled, but I think there may be a comic or tv special in the fullness of time).

Six: as a result of a tweet from someone who was there, I now want a Pros vid to U2's Hawkmoon 269. I can already picture scenes, but I have no vidding software or experience... hint?

Seven: I will be in England in about forty-eight hours. I am pretty sure that I have missed replying to emails and such about meetage, due to NZ organising and so on - if you think I owe you some confirmation or other response, do let me know here or by messaging or FB etc if we are friended. I am working on my email backlist, but a nudge would definitely help!

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