kiwisue (kiwisue) wrote,
kiwisue
kiwisue

Gay quotes project

I've been compiling a list of "gay quotes" from The Professionals episodes. Some of these are just casual gay referencing - to the "Gay News", to the lesbian lovers in "Everest was also Conquered". Some others appear to be just the lads camping it up. And then there are the others, the ones I really love, where there's a hint of "something else going on" between them.

A lot of it is in the expressions and the body language, but it's interesting to see how many clues remain without the visuals!

Credit: Quotes from the transcripts at The Hatstand Episode Guides


General gay referencing
No Stone
BODIE: They fed 'em on tarantula legs for three weeks. Right? That failed. So then they tried a diet of twenty-four-hour, non-stop, pop music.
DOYLE: To a cageful of rats?
BODIE: Yeah. There was rock, disco, punk. You know, the whole hit parade.
DOYLE: Then what happened?
BODIE: They all went gay.
Doyle laughs.
DOYLE: A cageful of gay rats?
BODIE: It's straight, honest. You don't believe me, do you?
DOYLE: No, are you kidding.
BODIE: That's a fact. Honest. Queer as a three-pound note.

First Night
COWLEY: We've got tape records placed in every newspaper office. The periodicals, radio, TV--everywhere.
DOYLE: Gay News?
COWLEY: Everywhere.

Hunter/Hunted
MARTY: Beautiful, isn't it? Amazing to think the Vikings used to sail up here a few hundred years ago. Raid our cities--
DOYLE: Rob all the women; rape all the men.
MARTY: If you like that sort of thing.
(This is one which I think loses something when you can't view the scene)

In the Public Interest
note 1: This episode deals with gay issues against a backdrop of an overly-controlling police service so there are references throughout. Apart from this, the nuances for the B/D fan are slight - a little bit of camping (below), and this:
Office on Canal Street. Bodie and Doyle are unloading cardboard boxes from the car and carrying them inside. Doyle notices a police car pulling up to an intersection and pausing to watch them.
DOYLE: Think we've got a nibble.
He and Bodie go inside and stack the boxes. Bodie looks at brochures piled around.
BODIE: Cooking on a budget. Post-natal depression.
DOYLE: [chuckles] That's right. Not a word, not a poster, nothing about gay youth.
BODIE: Oh, that's a relief, my image remains untarnished.
He hands Doyle a brochure.
BODIE: Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
DOYLE: Oh, yeh.
He does a double take and looks at Bodie, then back at the brochure.

note 2: I find this scene strange - there are perfectly valid reasons to portray a gay youth centre as having health and welfare pamphlets. But no 'gay youth' specific material? Why? Was it a legal issue at the time, or concern about how a more realistic scene might be perceived?? Curious.

Killer With a Long Arm
HILDA: Well, you must have made some mistakes?
GEORGI: Yes, one.
HILDA: Was she prettier than me? More desirable?
GEORGI: She was a boy. [smiles] It had been a long, hot summer.

DOYLE: What do you know about Greeks, Bodie?
BODIE: Uh, the fellows all dance together and the cops shave their heads.
He laughs.
DOYLE: They are a tight-knit community.
BODIE: Yeah, ghetto time.
DOYLE: Don't knock it. Ghetto means, um, being able to depend on your own kind.
BODIE: So, you and me are a mobile ghetto, eh?
DOYLE: I've got some good Greek friends.
BODIE: Me, too. Funny thing is, though, they're all girls.
Doyle smiles.
BODIE: Where we going?
DOYLE: To see a Greek...who is not so friendly.

Fugitive
I had one small part of this scene selected, and then when I went through there was so much more to find...thank you, shootingtokill! Also, I noticed a couple of errors in the hatstand transcript - I've italicised the corrections
Scene 16: Hairdressing salon. Bodie and Doyle go to the door.
BODIE: Fancy a quick blow dry, do you?
DOYLE: Oh, very droll.
They go in.
RECEPTIONIST: Good afternoon.
BODIE: Afternoon.
RECEPTIONIST: Bobby's free.
She indicates Bobby, who smiles at Bodie.
DOYLE: Hell, I'm sure he is.
BODIE: Like to speak to Mr. Slater, please.
RECEPTIONIST: Oh, I don't know if you can--.
DOYLE: Ah, I think he will for us. [shows CI5 ID]
BODIE: Thank you.
The receptionist goes to the phone. It rings in Slater's office, and he answers it.
SLATER: Yeh. Right.
Hanging up, he hides a file. Bodie and Doyle come in.
SLATER: Yes, yes, I know, I remember him.
DOYLE: Fondly, no doubt.
SLATER: What do you want?
BODIE: Putting your cards on the table a bit early, aren't you?
SLATER: No, I mean, what's your poison?
DOYLE: Ah, that's very nice, make it a social occasion. Yeh, I'll have a large Scotch if you've got it.
SLATER: Yeah, I've got it. And you?
BODIE: Oh, well, I think I might have a small Cuba libre.
SLATER: Oh, well, I think I'll have a pink gin.
BODIE: You navy?
SLATER: Royal marines. You army?
BODIE: Paras. So. You're into the private army game, are you?
SLATER: Listen, I thought we were going to be sociable.
DOYLE: For us, this is sociable.
SLATER: Fine. So what d'you want?
BODIE: You know, I knew a guy like him. Went to the bar. Saw a pretty barmaid. Forgot your round.
DOYLE: You have to help yourself.
(snipped dialogue)
DOYLE: How do you feel about terrorists?
SLATER: Shoot the bloody lot of them.
BODIE: Queers?
SLATER: Shoot the--ha ha.

Everest was also Conquered
DOYLE: 1955. Exactly. And she paid cash. You get the same kind of feeling as I do about those two?
BODIE: What, only one bed being slept in?
DOYLE: Yeah, yeah.
BODIE: Yeah. It must have been murder for a policewoman with those kind of tendencies in the fifties.
DOYLE: Yeah, she'd be open to all kinds of bribery, blackmail, the lot. [he finds a paper] Jackpot! Twenty thousand shares purchased in Turvey Combines--when?

Not a very Civil Civil Servant
DRAKE: I wouldn't do that, pal. First, I could walk you over the park and give you a ten-out-of-ten thumping as easy as demonstrate a vacuum cleaner.
SINGLETON: That would get you in even more trouble.
DRAKE: No. Because even if I was picked up, we all know what fellows like you are after in parks. And besides, you're being selfish. You've got four kids. I know the roads they cross on their way to school and I know what they look like. And I can be a very dangerous driver. I know the supermarket your wife shops at. So, what I do is, I put a few things in her bag, I call the detective and she's down the road for shop-lifting. You think about it. Perhaps I could arrange both. You do it. And, you never know, you might get a few quid through your door one night and you can buy yourself a new suit.

Between Our Lads (ETA - maybe - who are they trying to kid?)
Hunter, Hunted
PRESTON: It's a condition of parole. You understand, until I get a steady job? Which could take a long time. Nobody loves a bent copper, do they? [starts to enter the house; Doyle moves as if to follow] You weren't thinking of coming in, were you? Without a warrant? Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. [exit into house]
BODIE: Well, you two don't exactly love each other, do you?
DOYLE: Well, like he said, nobody loves a bent copper.
BODIE: I don't mind. Well, nevermind. Let's try the other one.
ETA: dialogue correction thanks to crimson37. I've left the quote here because there is *something* about Bodie's smile when he says it - what do you think??

Not a very Civil Civil Servant
BODIE: Bodie. You've got a strange way of introducing yourself, haven't you?
HALLORAN: Yeah, I just wanted to make sure whose side you were on. Too many of you fellows are bent.
Bodie and Doyle look at each other.

Servant of Two Masters
DOYLE: Right, you're on your own.
He gets out of the car.
BODIE: Doyle.
Doyle bends down to look through the window.
BODIE: I'm going to miss you.
DOYLE: Very touching.
He crosses the road. Bodie whips the car in a U-turn, then leans out of the window.
BODIE: Hey, don't you speak to any strange men!
He speeds away. Doyle goes inside the building.

A Hiding to Nothing
COWLEY: [into radio-phone] Alpha. Where is she now?
BODIE: At a concert. Following every note with a friend.
COWLEY: A friend?
BODIE: A friend. Boyfriend.
COWLEY: You're sure it's a boyfriend? There's a big difference.
BODIE: I know. I think I can remember.

Dead Reckoning
BODIE: What about that guy Michael, the girl's boyfriend?
DOYLE: [to Bodie] You busy?
(Bodie pauses for a minute, then nods and smiles slightly at Doyle)

The Ojuka Situation
RECEPTIONIST: Well, I think we can accommodate you. Rooms Six, Seven, and Eight are adjoining. Seven is usually taken as a children's room, but the bed is full size. There's no bath, I'm afraid. So if you don't mind sharing?
BODIE: No, I'm sure that'll be all right. If that's okay with Mr Guppy?
They turn to look at Ojuka.
(Another one which loses something without the visuals)

Involvement
BODIE: Ah, come on, Doyle's girlfriend?
COWLEY: Would have to be checked out if he wants to marry her. No operative can marry without my permission.
BODIE: Didn't know that.
COWLEY: It's in the small print. And, anyway, it's not ever likely to affect you, is it?
BODIE: Thank you. Yeah, well, we don't know he's going to get married yet, do we?

Need to Know
BODIE: All due respect, sir, I'm sure, I'm, I'm not entirely happy about anyone having the key to my flat! I mean, what if you were to come in unexpectedly while I was in the-- Doing....
He looks at Doyle.
BODIE: Well, anything, you know.
Cowley looks between them.
COWLEY: I'd be very discreet, Bodie, I promise you. I'd wait until you were finished, oh, doing whatever you were doing.
He opens the box.
COWLEY: Ah, I think Mackay must have left this for you, Bodie. [holds up tulip] It was in Amsterdam, wasn't it, that he beat you in the Judo Championships?
BODIE: I was ill.
DOYLE: Oh, I don't know, sir, it might not be that. It might be some kind of, um, bouquet. I mean, uh, you never can tell these days, you know.
BODIE: Yeah, yeah.

(later)
COWLEY: I had you both covered. I'm a very good shot.
BODIE: Yeah, I saw that. Nevertheless, what if something had gone wrong?
COWLEY: Oh, in that case, I would have arranged a nice headstone for the two of you. Out of my own pocket, of course.

Taking the piss OR we camp beautifully
Blind Run
In the Fiesta van. Tinkerbell and Mr X are talking in Arabic and laughing in the back seat.
DOYLE: Share the joke, Tinkerbell.
TINKERBELL: It worked! They lost us.
DOYLE: It's not you two fairies I'm worried about; it's just my job.


In the Public Interest
BODIE: The regulations. Oh, can we have the same, uh, room, please? It's just that my friend here does a spot of painting, and he finds the view inspiring.
DOYLE: And the doctor says it's doing his fractured eyelash so much good.

First Night
Bodie and Doyle pause beside the billboard advertising next week's film.
DOYLE: I've seen it.
BODIE: Hey?
DOYLE: Yeah. The hero had an operation to take his hand off his hip.
He looks at Bodie's left hand resting on his hip.

Looking After Annie
BODIE: Oh, come on. Cowley and the opposite sex? You must be joking.
DOYLE: Well, he must be an attractive man. I suppose. Oh, he's a bit aggressive, but he...he would be attractive, wouldn't he?
BODIE: [campy] I've not noticed. Anyway, too busy ducking insults.

A Hiding to Nothing
DOYLE: [on R/T] 4.5 to 3.7, over.
BODIE: [into R/T] 3.7. You all right?
DOYLE: Yeah, matron's a bit friendly.
BODIE: Yeah? Problem?
DOYLE: Nah, I'll just take the rotor arm out of her broomstick. Listen, the guy who had this flat before, what's he do?
BODIE: Oh, he's a ballet dancer. But he's very nice.
DOYLE: Oh, really?

Involvement
Doyle's flat. Doyle is alone when the intercom buzzer sounds. He pushes the button to open the outside door without checking to see who it is and returns to the kitchen. Sound of someone arriving.
DOYLE: Come on in, darling, the door's open.
BODIE: Anything you say, sweetheart!
Doyle turns and laughs.

Blackout
In a pub. Stuart carries a couple of pints from the bar with Doyle trailing him to where Bodie, with his arm in a sling, is sitting.
DOYLE: This is Stuart. He wants to congratulate you.
BODIE: Oh, cheers, mate.
STUART: Yeah, you did fine. Left-handed, too.
BODIE: Yeah, ambidextrous.
DOYLE: Yeah.
BODIE: That's not what you think it means. *simpers*


There was quite a bit of cutting and pasting between categories *g* so I'm interested in comments on how I've organised the quote selections. Also additional suggestions!

ETAs
Runner
BODIE: All this drinking in the daytime, Doyle.
DOYLE: I know. I shan't be able to look a ginger beer in the face again. See you.
Tags: gay quotes, the_professionals
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